A weekend of refocus

This weekend we had the opportunity (mandate to be fair) to go to an all Costa Rican Latin America Mission missionary retreat. Try saying that five times fast! There were so many reasons this was a great retreat for me to be at, I'll at least try to hit a few of the high points.

First of all, I have to be honest by saying I've never been much of a 'retreat' guy. Given that I much prefer to have one or two close friends that I spend a significant amount of time with - going and spending 3.5 days of very precious 'I could be studying Spanish' time with many people I do not know was not appealing. However, God combated these thoughts with another tool that the devil often uses in missionary's minds - missing home. Mind you, I'm not down here in Costa Rica crying myself to sleep - however this last week was the first since I have been here that I really thought it would be fun to be back in the states. I genuinely miss my job, my friends, my family and just the normalcy of life back home. After some reflecting, this is just another way that God can take something that was intended to be for evil, hurt or in this case distraction from what I am doing here - and use it for His glory (Gen 50:20). By the time the retreat rolled around I was eagerly anticipating seeing the folks I know at La Palabra de Vida, folks from our Miami Service Office and also meeting many new missionaries who serve in Costa Rica - and not even worried about the fact that it was a retreat.

The main theme for the weekend was defining what success looks like. As a Christian, and I guess especially as a missionary, I am ashamed that some of my more natural responses to this question are something like the following:

- Making money
- Having career advancement
- Being well liked
- Having power
- Acceptance
- Interesting and exciting jobs
- Easy and smooth life

Let me first say that any of those things in and of themselves is not bad. God does not despise any of those things, and I do not believe that we should either. However, what is bad is when we begin to use any of those as the measure of success for our lives - and it is SO easy to do this. As easy as it is, we must not as God does not. (Actually, God rejects them as important measures Luke 4:1-14) I can think back to a conversation I had two weeks ago where I was asking someone what his 5-10 year plan was. Implicit in the question was 'Whats next for you? You can not teach forever can you? You have to BE someone, DO something, MOVE onto something bigger.' You can instantly see how I was marginalizing this person's service in the Kingdom because it did not cync up with three important Josh measurement factors. Who am I to declare what is successful or what is important - in this persons life or mine? God often does just the opposite of what the world values just to show that same world that he is, as a speaker said this weekend, an unconventional God who uses unconventional methods. The entire story of Jesus' was just that....all including the disciples expected a great king who would really advance the Jewish nation and finally 'take care of' the bad guys. Instead all they got was a Savior who atoned for sin and provided a means of reconciliation for everyone through his own humiliation and suffering. What a bummer, huh? Maybe if God thought more like us things would turn out better.

This is such an important lesson because this is a real struggle for me. There is not a week that goes by when I do not think about some variation of this issue. How can I get my career back on track after this whole 'missionary' thing? THAT persons job sounds interesting, how do I get over there so I can do something cool like them? What do I need so do so I can get in a position of authority and make some real change? Etc ... I sure spend alot of effort thinking (worrying?) about these things. What a wonderful feeling of rest I finally had this weekend being reminded that I am here because God wants me here. I'm doing what I am because it is precisely what is needed by him. If I simply ask, listen and obey to His will - I can fully rest that future directions in my life are precisely what they need to be as well. It matters not if I lead a 'team of me' cooking meals for the needy or being the captain of a fortune 100 company. To all my non-Christian or non-believing fiends out there - how do you find rest? Does measuring and advancing yourself against the measures of the world get you there? What happens in 50 years when you die, or tomorrow if a tragedy happens? I feel like I age 10 years for each 1 worrying about this stuff and I have the answer.

Another great thing about the retreat were the people! What an amazing thing to listen to people ranging from 2 months of service on the field (Christy and I) to 50+ years on the field. Beyond just the amazing stories - you can see and hear so much more. Their very real struggles, amazing fellowship with each other, compassion, kindness, realness, etc. What a blessing to not only spend a weekend with people like that, but to have open access to them whenever we need advice, questions answered or just a friend.

Lastly, it didn't rain! The tropical storm in the pacific made the week before the retreat miserable! However, Friday, Saturday and Sunday were AMAZING. It did not rain until we packed to leave the retreat.

I could go on and on, but...I won't. At the end of the day, you can see it was exactly what I needed. God provides what we need, when we need it, always - we just have to ask, listen, obey and understand that our way is not always his way.

I'm off to study some verbs and get some sleep. Hope everyone had a great weekend.